In Sams time of Dying
by crazyChick7
Summary: Sam makes the deal, not JOhn. IMTOD AU
1. Chapter 1

OKAY. TODAY HAS NOT BEEN THE BEST DAY FOR ME. I'VE HAD NO SLEEP AND I'M REALLY SICK:( BUT I HAVE HAD THIS IDEA IN MY HEAD FOR A WHILE. BE NICE LOL.

a/n- This is an AU of IMTOD. What if Sam had been the one to make the deal?

EVERYTHING UP TO THIS POINT HAS HAPPENED LIKE IN THE SHOW. but there is no reaper in this ep!

DISCLAIMER- I OWN NOTHING GRRRR

1

Sam faltered at the door of his fathers hospital room. His withdrew his hand and returned it back to his side. He was barely aware of the curious glances he was attracting from the

others in the corridor. Once upon a time it would have bothered him to be labelled as a weirdo, or an outsider like he was been viewed now- but those morales had all but

vanished. He could not summon up the energy to care. He was done trying to fit into a world in which he did not belong. His world was currently lying on two beds in this hospital.

One half of which was fighting a losing battle, according to the doctors. If that was not bad enough he knew it was all his fault. Stupid, insignificant him whom a demon apparently

had "plans for." The mere thought scared the hell out of him. But not as much as living in a world without his brother.

_"Dean..."_

Without his brother he would have died long ago. He gave up trying to count the amount of times Dean had saved him as it was impossible. He fought off the tears as he thought of

the amount of people Dean had saved.

His brothers life had been about sacrifice- for his family and for the world. _He does not deserve this! _he thought bitterly. _It should not be like this. I am alive- and he's dying._

Dean had been there his whole life. He was the strong one. The one who protected him. He was the best big brother he could have ever have. He was not sure he could see life

without his brother.

The equipment he had gotten from Bobby weighed down his back. The initial anger at his father had ebbed away during the short ride over. It had been replaced, in his mind, with

something close to pride. Modern medicine had given up on his brother- but he refused to stand and watch Dean die. Dean had been at deaths door before, when he had suffered a

heart attack, and medicine and science had given up then. But through supernatural means, hehad lived to fight another day. When the doctor had uttered those fateful words a few

hours ago, "_you need to have realistic expectations,"_ his mind had immediately wandered back to that situation.

"A vodoo priest to lay some mojo on me," as Dean would probably say.

_But Dean is lying on a hospital bed with stupid useless machines attached to him. Not really in any position to talk? Huh?,_

His father, of all people, had given him a way to fix the situation he had caused. A stupid, hotheaded man that he had often resented had actually done something useful. The man

who had begged his youngest child to kill him. He was so angry when he had first found out Johns plans.

How dare he think of something other than Dean in a time like this?What kind of father was he?

The more he thought about it, however, the more he saw it as his only option. He did not really care about his fathers intentions, he focused on his own plan. He was desperate, that

much he knew, but he was far from irrational. His plan was far from full-proof but as they say, "Desperate times call for desperate measures."

John lay on the bed watching his youngest child outside the door. He could clearly see that his child was struggling with an immense burden. Dean, or his ghost, leaned against the

wall watching his little brother with equal intensity. He grew frustrated at his lack of control in the situation. Normally he would go into, what he liked to call, big brother mode.

Normally, he would throw open the door, make stupid sarcastic remarks until Sam would roll his eyes in disguist. It was a tried and tested method, but he could not disagree with

the results. However, now that he had been forced into the role of spectator, he was now forced to rely on his father. _Sam and dad? Together?_ Even in these circumstances he

snorted. He braced himself as Sam opened the door.

Sam walked in, keeping his eyes on the floor. John watched him, willing him to meet his gaze. Sam continued to stare at the floor and bit his lip. Dean saw the danger signs

immediately. Never in his life had Sam refused to meet his fathers gaze. Dean knew it had to have been something bad that was on his brothers mind. Forgetting his situation he was

in he started over to Sam.

"Come on Sammy what's the matter?"

When Sam continued to stare at the floor, he grew frustrated.

_"_Come on, man. Concentrate. I know you can hear me."

"Your quiet," cut in Johns voice. Sam shivered involuntarily. Dean sighed and stood at Sams shoulder.

"Just thinking about Dean," he half whispered.

Alarm bells began to ring in Deans head. He heard the pessimism and defeated tone in his brothers voice. Something was seriously wrong here.

"Come on Dad!" he urged, "Pick up on it. You cannot miss this!"

"He would not be like that if you did not do what I asked"

Sam and Dean both winced.

"You stupid bastard! Do not blame him- it is NOT his fault! Come on Sammy, don't you believe it!"

Sam nodded, as if in acceptance, "I am sorry."

Johns eyes narrowed as he surveyed Sam. His gaze reminded Dean of those animal shows were the lion was surveying his prey.

Dean balled his fists in anger. "You are so lucky i am a ghost right now," he growled to his father.

"Did you get the things I asked you to get from Bobby?" he snapped.

"He did not have them. He said he will bring them tomorrow." replied Sam curtly.

"Bobby?" he questioned roughly, "Did not have it?"

Sams head shot up. For a second Dean thought Sam was going to shout back at him and to tell John to "Screw himself." He imagined, with certain amount of relief, the ensuring

argument and a sliver of normality that would come from it. Instead Sam said nothing, merely watching John with a sparkle of interest. John met his gaze. Deans head moved from

Sam to John and back again.

Sam chuckled and the noise echoed erily around the room.Dean raised an eyebrow and John unwittinly mimicked him.

"Why in the hell are you laughing?"

"I never told you i was proud of you"

"Were did this come from?" asked John, surprised- not expecting the answer he had received.

Sam shook his head," You have always been this big figure in some many peoples lives. You have been so many things in my life- the warrior, the fighter and the symbol of

everything I hate. But i have always forgotten you are my dad. It took a car crash fro me to realise that. How messed up is that?"

John was unsure of how to proceed. This was unchatered waters for him,

"I am your dad. i thought that you were supposed to smart- geesh, it took you over 20 years to realise that?"

Sam opened his mouth to protest but John raised a hand to stop him.

"It is my job to protect you boys from the evils of this world. I am your dad. It is kind of in the handbook. I am sorry in doing this though, i've alienated myself from my kids.

Because in the end, nothing else matters.Not the labels, not the Demon- just you boys."

"Thanks dad. I am sorry for all the rows you know."

John smiled. Dean immediately bristled. Dad was not as close to Sam so, unlike Dean, he failed to realise that this speech could mean nothing good. From his brothers mouth, it

sounded way too much like a goodbye.

Sam began to move to the door. Dean followed, inserting himself between the two.

"Your not going anywhere."

Sam stopped as John spoke,

"You are my kid so I kinda always expected a fair share of tantrums."

"From both sides, laughed Sam, "I am just going to go and see Dean."

John nodded encouragingly. Sam smiled, not meeting his eyes.

"See you later," said John.

"Yeah," said Sam turning to the door. He breezed past Dean and moved into the corridor.

Dean stood, motionless at the door. HIs stomach dropped.

_Sams lying... _he realised suddenly.

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

thank you all sooo much for the reviews. I hope you all like this chapter.

Disclaimer- i own nothing

this chapter is shorter than the rest but i will make up for it do not worry!

Enjoy!!

2

"What's going on Sammy?" Dean waited a few seconds, hoping for an obligatory- **it's Sam**. Either Sam ignored him or if Sam heard his big brothers questioning, he gave no sign. Deans forhead scrunched in annoyance.

"Some fucking pyhsic you are supposed to be," he shouted at an unresponsive Sam. "Dreams about complete strangers? Yes, you get them all the time. But when the ghost of your not-so-dead brother is screaming

in your ears, do you listen? Noo, of course not. That would just make life too simple. As if it is not complicated enough . Being a ghost-SUCKS!"

Dean peeked a quick glance at his body on the bed and shivered. The sight of his body, even for a guy like him who had seen a lot in his life, was weird. He could see all the machines attached to his skin, with wires

and tubes, yet- as a ghost- he could not feel them. He shook his head and concentrated on his immediate problem- his baby brother. Initially, after Sammy had entered the dark hospital room, Dean had been hopeful.

He could always count on his brother to be more honest with him than his father. Heck, he could count on Sammy being more honest with a brick wall than with John. Dean had sat back, with a satisfied smirk,

thinking that all he would have had to do would be to wait. Sam never talked. Dean grew annoyed as Sam seemed content to watch Dean in silence.

"SAMMYSAMMYSAMMYSAMMYSAMMYSAMMYSAMMYSAMMYSAMMYSAMMYSAMMYSAMMYSAMMY" he shouted in Sams ear as loud as he could.

"Nothing, huh?" he grumbled when Sam did not even flinch.

"I know on some level you can hear me- the whole shining thingy proves that. Come on Sammy. You are really starting to freak me out with that expression on your face. I mean the last time I saw that expression, the

next words I heard outta your mouth were about your visions. I need you to talk now, tell me I am being paranoid. Laugh and tell me that this ghost thing is getting to me."

Sam reach over and brushed a small hair out of Deans face. He smiled sadly. Dean watched him expectantly. Sam looked at the floor and bit his lip.

"Come on! I HAVE NOT HAD THE BEST DAY" he shouted up at the ceiling, "Give me a BREAK!"

"You!" he shouted at his brother as he finally lost his patience, "throw me a bone. Granted I may be a ghost at the minute but I am still your big brother. A body, or the lack of one, does not change the fucking job

description. I am here to fix whatever mistake you made or help you out of whatever trouble you are in. But I am not pyhsic, like you SUPPOSEDLY are. I cannot fix it- if you do not tell me what it is!!!"

_"Dean"_

Dean looked over at Sam and smiled wryly, "Bout time you decided to talk Sammy."

"DOn't worry big bro. You will be okay soon."

Dean straightened a little at Sams words. Alarm bells, in his head, began to ring again. Dean decided, to ignore his first impulses, and see what else Sammy would tell him. He paced nervously.

"I am going to fix my mistake big bro. You won't suffer any more because of me."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" he said anxiously, "NONE OF this is your fault Sammy. Dad is A FUCKING jerk. Do not listen to him. We have had this conversation before, IT IS THE DEMON. Nothing

has changed. This is all because of that bastard!Nothing else!"

"I should have seen that damn truck," Sam said bitterly.

Dean rolled his eyes, "PLEASE LISTEN TO ME, FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE. I will make this very simple. Demon was driving truck. Demon equals bad. If it really wanted to get us that night it would have found a way

no matter how good your driving skills were"

"I even suck at saying goodbye," whispered Sam, blinking back tears.

Blood rushed to Deans head. He could hear it pounding in his ears. Terror coursed through him,

"Where in the hell do you think that you are going?And do you think you are going to get past me? I may be a ghost but I am not CASPER!"

"I know you are going to hate me, when you wake up, for leaving you.This cannot be helped Dean. I realise that now. Only one of us can finish this fight Dean. It should be you Dean."

Dean felt a swooping sensation in his stomach-like he had missed a step falling down the stairs.

"WHATEVER YOU PLANNING SAM, THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL I WILL LET YOU EVEN TRY-"

"You have always been so strong Dean," whispered Sam as tears flowed freely down his face, "strong for me. You are the best big brother a guy could ever ask for-"

"THIS IS NOT YOUR CHOICE TO MAKE SAMMY. THERE IS CERTAINLY NO WAY I WILL LET YOU MAKE IT FOR ME. WHAT KIND OF LIFE WOULD THAT BE-"

"but i need you to be strong now Dean. I need you to be there for the world. I need you to be there for dad. I need you to do what I can't do Dean. I need you to live."

" KNOWING MY BROTHER WAS DEAD BECAUSE OF ME. I WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO LIVE SAM."

"I am so afraid Dean. I don't want to die."

AND YOU ARE NOT GOING TO.

"But i do not want to live in a world without you."

AND YOU ARE NOT GOING TO, he shouted.

_HOw in the hell am I going to fix this mess, _he wondered.

tbc


	3. Chapter 3

OMG THANK YOU ALL SOO MUCH FOR THE REVIEWS. I LOVE THEM SO MUCH. I HAVE TO SAY- I CANNOT WAIT UNTIL NEXT WEEK TO SEE SN. IT LOOKS GREAT!!

A/N SORRY FOR THE SPELLING OF MACGUILLICUTTY- IT IS JUST A GUESS :)

DISCLAIMER- I OWN NOTHING

Chapter 3

"Mr MacGuilicutty?"

Sam did not react. He continued to stare at Deans quiet face, oblivious to the doctor who had entered the room. Dean stopped his anxious pacing. He surveyed the new "doctor"

with distain. He felt his lip curl.

_Permed __hair, the know-it-all look and the carefully pressed clothes._ Dean could tell, from a mile off, this guy had never seen a real days work in his life. He could also tell that

this guy would be as useful to him as those damned machines. He hated this guy already. He crossed his arms and watched as the doctor walked behind Sam.

"Sir," he asked again, tapping Sam on the shoulder.

Sam reacted without thinking. He grabbed the outstrectched hand on his shoulder. He pulled the hand close to him, throwing the doctor forward. He wheeled around quickly as he

did so.

"Who are you?" he demanded. The doctor tried to pull his hand away. Sam held tight and squeezed. The doctor began to pant in fear. Dean watched with mixed emotions. First he

was proud to see that his Sammy was still in there somewhere. Now he was urging his little brother to let go of the mans hand. Annoying as the doc probably was- he did not

deserve a Winchester on a bad day.

Sams eyes flickered over the white coat and settled on the namebadge. He quickly let go and looked away, as though ashamed.

"Sorry," he said lamely, "You scared me."

The doctor, still white faced, said nothing as he rubbed his hand.

"You did sneak up on me! What do you expect?"

Dean smiled, "Well Sammy, being that he is not used to our way of life, I'd say a broken hand was not on his wishlist."

"It's clear you have anger issues, sir" said the doctor carefully choosing his words. Dean guessed he was afraid that Sammy would snap and hit him again.

"What?" asked Sam disbelieving, "gives you the right? My entire life is in this damn hospital. My only brother is lying on a bed beside me like a vegetable.And it's my-."

Sam stopped himself in time. Dean knew what was on the tip of Sams tongue. _It's my fault._Those words tasted like acid to him. Those words reminded him of the mess they were

in. They reminded him of the mess Sam was, somehow, going to get himself into. He still had no idea what was on his brothers mind- but he knew it was bad. When his little brother

made his mind up, nothing was done by halves. The whole two year silence between them both was an excellent example. He was also, bitterly, reminded that he had no idea what

to do. All his normal gameplans went out of the window, given the fact he could not do anything

or be heard/seen by anyone. He felt completely powerless, when his brother needed him most. Sam needed reassurance, guidance, comfort heck the guy even needed a hug but

none was likely to be forthcoming from John. In short, Dean knew that Sam needed him. He needed Sam as well. He needed everything to be normal. For everything to be okay.

He needed to see Sammy roll his eyes at him. He was afraid. He did not want to be a ghost. However, he knew with a certainty, that there would be no way in hell that he would let

Sam do what he was planning. Not in a million years and no matter how terrified he was. He forced himself to pay attention and listen to the doc, who seemed to be mid-speech.

"-comphrensive. We have already spoken to your father, who agrees that this is the right decision. It is really not fair on your brother to keep him here like this. Let him go in peace."

Dean felt the words like a punch to the gut. _Way to go!Zone out when they are talking about you dying. Very smart Dean._

"Is there no hope?" asked Sam in a small voice. His head was lowered. His bangs framed his face in shadow.

"As I just explained, there is no hope. The machines are the only things keeping your brother breathing right now. The tests have proved it. I am sorry but he is gone."

"Ahem?" asked Dean shocked, "I am so, still here man."

"My, my dad agreed?" asked Sam in an even smaller voice. Dean stopped, stunned. Had his father really given up on him?

"He realises that your brother, that its just your brother time. He realises that there is nothing we can do anymore."

"How," asked Sam,.more to himself.

"Your brother suffered-"

Sam raised a hand. "You, you can stop now."

Deans head was spinning.

Had his dad given him up for dead? After everything, was he just going to give it up and pull the plug?

Dean shivered at the reference. He was suddenly terrified. He was not even thirty yet! He had not really lived!He was not ready to die yet!

Sams gaze flew back to Dean. His eyes filled with tears. After a few seconds he seemed to come to a decision. Sam grabbed the duffel on the chair to his left. He glanced at Dean again.

"Give me an hour," he said not taking his eyes off his brother.

The doctor nodded, "Do not do anything for one hour- then anything goes."

Dean noted the look of determination in his brothers eyes. The fear drained out of him.

"It is showtime," he realised.

tbc i hope you all like


	4. Chapter 4

Disclainer- i own nothing

thanks for all the reviews. i hope you all like this chapter.

CHAPter 4

2 DAYS LATER

"John Winchester, you could have picked an easier place to get to. I am getting old you know," trilled Missouri, deciding to forgo the traditional hello. She walked into the

darkened motel room, without waiting for an invitation.

"Close the door man," she admonished as John scanned the darkened carpark, "Do you want me to die of hypothermia?" She looked around the room, "Not that in here is

much better."

"You would not die. Who would piss me off then," John muttered and perceiving no threats, he closed the door.

"Excuse me?" asked Missouri, as John bent awkwardly to redraw the salt lines around the door. Missouri would offer to help but she knew John too well. He was the kind of

guy that refused to ask for directions when they were stuck in the middle of nowhere.

" I SAID Hello to you too," he muttered, not looking at the older woman.

Missouri laughed, in spite of the seriousness of the situation, "Of all the dumbass ideas John, lying to a pyhsic has to take the cake."

John said nothing. He did not feel like joking. He barely had the energy to stand straight. He decided to do something useful. He turned away from Missouri and checked the

locks on the door. He leant heavily on the crutch.

Missouri felt awkward as she stared at Johns back. The man was going through every parents nightmare AND he had an evil son of a bitch to hide from. How could she say

anything to make that even remotely better?

"I am sorry," she offered awkwardly

John faltered for a second.

"Thank you," he whispered, his voice gruff with emotion.

"You taught him well John. He was a great man."

John did not turn around. His shoulders began to shake. Missouri did not need to be a pyhsic to know that the man was crying.

"He..is...just...a...boy. He is my boy."

Missouri reached out a hand to pat him on the shoulder. John tensed at the touch.

"He died a warriors death John. YOu should be proud of that."

John laughed bitterly, "I should be proud that he died? He was not even thirty for Christs sake. It is not the middle ages. I did not want this for my kids! FUCK! I should have

protected him! That's my job!"

"You have two children," she reminded him gently, "You can still protect him."

John nodded. With his free hand he wiped his eyes.

"You are right. You are right," he added, "As always"

"Stating the obvious," she smiled her eyes twinkling, "Where is he and what do you need me to do?"

John nodded to the second of the two single beds. Missouri peered into the darkness, noticing a crop of hair by the edge of the bed. She wondered how she had missed him

when she had first entered the room.

"He has not spoke, not since-" John looked away. Missouri understood. It was still hard for John to say it out loud. It is was still hard for her to speak about it- and she had

only really knew the child by reputation.

"He does not react. He does not move. He just sits there, staring into space," continued John in a desperate voice.

Missouri glanced towards the young hunter who sat on the floor. He stared unblinkingly at a stretch on the wall, as if fascinated.

_It is hard to believe that this is the same young man in my house all those months ago._

Missouri shook her head sadly as she compared the two sides of the same young man. _What a difference a few months makes._

"Doctors are calling it shock."

Missouri understood, in a flash, why she had not realised there was more than two people in the room. The young man she had met, and hunted with, in Lawerence was

locked away in his own mind. He was unable to deal with the loss of his beloved brother so the poor man had cut himself off from all his emotions. _To feel nothing was _

_better than the pain. _She itched to envelop the young man in a hug. If not for his sake, then for herself. The young man sat with his back straight and his legs crossed. The

more Missouri watched him, the sadder she felt. It took her a second to realise the source of the sadness- the young man on the floor. She got a quick flash of the young mans

thoughts.

"_Your my brother, I would die for you..."_ Sams voice.

_"As long as I am around, nothing bad is gonna happen to you..."_Now Deans.

_"Your my brother, I would die for you..." _Sam again

_"As long as I am around, nothing bad is gonna happen to you..." _Dean again.

A tiny voice broke through the endless loop of broken promises, pathetic and small,

"_Can I still be a brother even though I am alone now?"_

"Child," she breathed in sympathy. She felt her own eyes water. Life just was not fair.

Johns eyes shone with unshed tears. "I need. No, I HAVE to protect him. He is all I have left. We do not stand a chance now though. A cripple and a guy who may as well be

in a coma. That bastard of a demon would pick us off like flies."

"I am not a doctor John," Missouri gently reminded him.

"Please," he pleaded.

Missouri nodded, "Do not expect miracles though."

She knelt in front of him. John stood over the two, watching anxiously.

Missouri reached out a hand and gently brushed the poor mans temple.

"Let's see what is really on your mind honey."

TBC

PS- SORRY ABOUT THE LACK OF SAM/DEAN IN THIS CHAPTER ;)THE NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE ALL ABOUT SAM VS. THE YELLOW EYED DEMON.


	5. Chapter 5

Hi thanks for all the reviews. I love them sooo much! I really hope you like this chapter. Sorry in advance for the spelling mistakes. My spell-check is broke!

Disclaimer- as always, I own nothing.

Chapter 5

_Dean Winchester considered himself as a guy that did not scare easy. However he, who had gone toe to toe with a wendigo before he was old enough to drive, was _

_absolutely terrified now. His little brother was __currently alone in an empty ICU room, not counting the guy in a coma on the bed to his left, chalking markings on _

_the linolium floor. Markings, that looked like something he hoped he was wrong about. HOwever, __considering the fact that he was currently a ghost, he knew that _

_luck was not on his side today. The bleeping of the life support machine echoed, eriely around the dark room as Dean thought about his next move. He leant on the _

_comatose guys bed and watched his little brother. He was frowning, the only outside indicator that his mind was swimming. He struggled to comprehend the new situation._

_"Sam is summoning a demon. Sam is summoning a demon. Sam is summoning a demon. Doesn't he realise that this is suicide. How can he think, however _

_misguidedly, that this would make things any better?"_

_Dean shook his head as he pictured Sam versus the demon. Nothing good would come of it. Due to the fact that he knew Sam as well as the boy knew himself, he _

_knew the one demon who would be on the invite list to __this party. Personally, he did not want that yellow- eyed freakshow anywhere near his brother, especially _

_when his brother had no one to back him up. HIs mind wandered back to the bastards little "bombshell." He __had, as soon as he heard those words, made a mental _

_vow to never let that son of a bitch near his little brother. And now, when he was forced into the role of spectator, his stupid little brother was calling the bastard_

_for a chat. Good start Dean. Very good start, well done._

_"You don't do things by half, do you little bro," he half grinned._

_His smile disappeared as Sam continued to etch the markings. Dean bounded over to Sam in two steps. "Time to stop this now."_

_Sam stopped. He straightened and blew his bangs out of his face. Dean felt a bubble of hope rise within him. Had Sam finally heard him, on some level? Sam leant _

_over and took a book out of the bag, which was on his left. Sam flicked through a few pages. He stopped,__glanced at the page, then the floor and back again. He _

_was clearly checking if he was drawing the symbols correctly. Deans self-satisfied smile turned to an angry scowl. _

_"Of course Sam had not heard him. That would make things too easy."_

_He made a desperate grab for the chalk in Sams hand. He missed and his scowl deepened. _

_"You are supposed to be the smart one. This is just opening a whole can of worms that you do not want to touch!"_

_Sam set the book, open at the same page, on the floor beside him. Dean tried to kick it angrily away. It remained, almost frustratingly, where Sam had placed it._

_"STOP!" he yelled in Sams face._

_Sam did not look up. He continued to etch the markings. Dean knew that Sam was nearly finished. Time was not on Deans side. His shouting was not working. He _

_could not touch anything. Dean needed help. He __glanced at the man on the bed. He was clearly not getting any help from there. Even if that man could help, Dean _

_knew he would be as useless as he was at the present minute. Dean needed someone strong. He __needed someone smart. He needed-_

_"Dad."His father had taught him everything he knew. He longed to see the man bust in the door and play the hero. Hell, he had done it for countless people, why not his family?Why not Sam?_

_He dismissed those thoughts, almost automatically. He had even less, if that were possible, luck communicating with his father than his brother. Besides, he still _

_was not sure he could deal with feelings about his __father at the minute. He buried those feelings of anger, resentment, pain and betrayal, that he felt towards his _

_father. He needed to concentrate on his brother. _

_Sam was rummaging in the bag for something. Dean felt his stomach, even though it was technically down the hall, drop when he glanced at the floor. Sam was _

_finished. The symbols were drawn. Sam set two candles on the floor. Slowly, he lit the candles with a lighter. "His own fucking lighter," Dean realised angrily. All _

_that was left was for Sam to recite the latin spell._

_"I swear to GOD. I will fucking kill you if you do this," he growled, as menacingly as he could, at Sam._

_Sam began to mumble. Dean braced himself. Dean had also promised himself that the next time he fought the bastard, he would have an arsenal to back him up. _

_So much for that comforting scenario. It took him a few seconds to realise that Sam was not saying the spell as he could understand what Sam was saying. Usually it all sounded like mumbo-jumbo to him. However, now he recognised specific words. He listened harder, as Sam was barely talking, and realised he was praying. In the middle of the darkened __hospital room, facing the ghost of his not so __dead brother, Sam Winchester was praying. _

_"Please give me the strength mom," he whispered into the dark, "I wish you were here with me. I wish that Dean was here. I miss you both. I need you both."_

_"Sammy," said Dean, desperately, "You are not alone.I am here. I am always here."  
_

_"I wish it was not coming to this," continued Sam, oblivious to Dean, "but it is. I am making a deal with the thing that killed you. Please forgive me. I can't see _

_any other way. The supernatural owes Dean so much. It is just up to me to __collect. Help me to get through this. I am scared stiff mom. Please help me get this over with. __Please help Dean when it is all over, as well. He'll need you to watch over him.__Dean'll need your guidance. I can't live in a world without him mom. As selfish as it is- I would rather die than be alone without him. Dean is stronger. He will be able to do it."_

_"That is not your choice to make Sammy," whispered Dean._

_"God, forgive me. Oh God. Please.."_

_Sam trembled involuntarily. Fear had overcome his senses. He covered his face in his hands and moaned. _

_Dean went into his big brother mode. "Do not be scared. God may not be here but I am. I am your big brother. I carried you out of a burning building when you _

_were a baby. I carried you out of one last year. __I promised you once that nothing bad will happen to you. Nothing has changed. Do not recite the spell. I will make _

_it out of this some other way. I mean, come on, I am Dean. I've gotten out of worse."_

_Sam dried his eyes. He took a breath, as if to calm himself. Sam reached for the book. Blinking back tears, he began to recite the latin._

_"No, NO," cried Dean desperately. He tried to punch Sam. He tried to push Sam. He tried to blow out the candles. Nothing worked. Sam continued to recite the _

_latin, his voice getting stronger._

_"Help me," screamed Dean to no-one in particular," Help him."_

_Dean spun around in a circle, hoping for anything that could possibly help him. The room was still frustratingly devoid of anything helpful. Stupid Hospital!_

_"God," cried Dean with tears in his eyes, "stop him. If you really exist you will stop him now. You will stop him from making this mistake."_

_Dean broke off, panting. He waited for a second, watching the door. He hoped that a nurse, maybe, would choose now to make an ill timed bed-time visit. The _

_door remained closed. Besides, he was pretty sure __Sam had locked it on his way in._

_"What the fuck," he screamed angrily, "Is the point in believing in You if you sit back and watch this happen. I have lived my FUCKING entire life to your rules. _

_Help others, Save others yadda fucking yadda. If you __let him die... If he dies and I live. if that happens- I am done. This life? This whole crappy, self sacrificing _

_life? I'll quit. I mean it. Even if I see someone getting attacked in front of me, I swear I'll turn away. Those evil __sons-a-bitch's can take over the world for all I care. _

_I can not fight without him. I will not fight without him. _

_Sam finished the incantation. He sat back on his knees. He looked around the room. _

_"Looks like we are on our own dude," he whispered._

_Dean copied Sam. His heart was pounding. He felt like it was ready to break out of his chest. Dean stood on the balls of his feet, ready to spring in and help _

_Sammy when he saw his chance._

_The man on the hospital bed, the one who had been in a coma, sat up slowly. He grunted. At the noise, Sam spun around as he stood up. He watched the man, _

_who was about forty and had __short cropped hair, slowly raise a hand and pull the tube from his throat._

_Dean winced at the noise. Sam gave no reaction. He merely watched as the man coughed blood. He threw the useless tube to one side. Dean moved to Sams side._

_"That's better," said the man jovially, "Now why am I here, I wonder?"_

_The man looked up. He caught Sam in his gaze. His features spread into a wolflike smile._

_"Ah, little Sammy Winchester. What can I do for you."_

_xxxxxxxxXxXxXxXxXxXxxXxXXxXxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

SORRY IF YOU DO NOT LIKE THIS CHAPTER! HOPE YOU ALL DID THOUGH:):)


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer- i own nothing!!!

Thank you all for the reviews. I really hope you like this chapter!!

Chapter 6

_The man looked up. He caught Sam in his gaze. His features spread into a wolflike smile._

_"Ah, little Sammy Winchester. What can I do for you."_

_Sam did not say anything. The wolf-like smile did not disappear. If anything it grew wider. Dean did not like the hungry look in the dudes eyes. The guy formely _

_known (Dean read the hospital bracelet) as Ron Tyler __stood from the bed. The bed creaked in protest at the sudden movement. Ron Tyler? Dean shook his head _

_wonderingly after he read the bracelet, "Why do all the supernatural sons a bitch's choose Joe __Normals?" Sam was in the middle of the room. Dean was beside _

_him. They were roughly 4 steps away from the bed. Four steps, mused Dean again, between heaven and hell. _

_The guy took a step forward, his gaze never leaving Sam. Dean thought, for a second he saw the bitches glance land on him but it could not have been he _

_reasoned. The bitch never said anything. If he really had __been seen then the demon would use it against Sam. Anything to kick a guy when he is down. Sam met the _

_demons gaze. He raised his chin slightly as if in defiance. Dean, in spite of his reasoning, was proud of __his brother for the front he was putting up. Dean had seen _

_the "before" and "after" versions of his little brother and he knew that Sam was scared. Yet he was not showing it. The Winchester pride and motto was_

_shining through- never show any emotion. _

_Sam took a step back. His boot echoed around the room. Dean remained on his position. His eyes darted from the demon to Sam and back again. It was like an _

_insane tennis match were nothing was happening. _

_Dean nodded encouragingly at Sams retreat, "Okay Sammy, keep doing that and you may be as smart as you let on"_

_The demon laughed. It was confident as if he knew that he had complete control. The hairs on the back of Deans neck stood up. Sam tensed._

_"Sammy, Sammy, Sammy," he scolded lightly, "You are not going anywhere."_

_Dean braced himself at those words. Sam seemed to be thinking along the same lines. Around about this time was when the bad-guy a.k.a. Ronny boy would pull out his own bag of tricks. The bag of tricks was _

_never good for either of them as it usually involved getting thrown into something- hard._

_The guy did not do anything. Sam glared at the man._

_"What do you want Sammy?"_

_The sound of guys voice was getting on Deans last nerve. That, coupled with the fact he was calling his brother by his own personal name was seriously pissing him off._

_"His name is SAM!" he yelled."_

_The mans eyes flickered to Dean and quickly back to Sam. He chuckled slightly. Dean knew that he had not imagined it that time. The demon knew he was here! _

_Dean smiled. It was about time someone threw him __a crumb._

_"You can see me? he accused. The demon ignored him. Dean continued to question him as he continued to talk to Sam._

_"You are beginning to piss me off young Samuel. Spit it out. What do you want?"The demons voice was laced with anger._

_Dean jumped, slightly at the use of the Samuel._

_"You fucking did hear me you bastard. You better leave him alone." Dean stood beside Sam and crossed his arms defensively. He dared the bastard to take _

_another step towards his brother._

_"I want Dean." Sams voice was strong._

_Ron made a real show of looking around the room. "Do you want to know my thinking on it all? Seeing as you kindly called me for a chat and the fact we are in a _

_hospital makes me think Dean is not out for coffee."_

_"YOU FUCKING KNOW I AM NOT ALRIGHT. i SWEAR, AS SOON AS I GET BETTER, THAT IF YOU TOUCH ONE HAIR ON HIS HEAD THERE WILL NOT _

_BE ANY ROCK BIG ENOUGH THAT YOU CAN __HIDE YOUR SORRY ASS."_

_"You did it to Dean. You can fix it," pleaded Sam._

_"Rons" smile grew ever wider.He rememembered the fun at the cabin. The skin around his eyes crinkled in glee. The guys eyes turned a putrid yellow. Dean felt his _

_stomach drop a notch at the sight. _

_"I can, but why should I?"_

_"THIS IS AS FAR AS THIS CONVERSATION IS GOING TOUGH GUY," Dean yelled. He pointed an accusing figure in the demons direction._

_"You can have me." Four little words. Ones that Dean had been dreading but expecting to hear. The demons smile widened._

_"IT WOULD REALLY NOT BE IN YOUR BEST INTERESTS TO WAKE ME UP YOU KNOW," he growled._

_Sam continued, "You said it yourself. You have plans for me. Think of this as cutting out a few months of in-between time"_

_"Such pessimism," tutted the demon, "In one so young."_

_"Take one shot," threatened Dean menacingly, "I fucking dare you."_

_The demon grimaced as he lost his patience with Dan and his threats. The glared at Dean, "You are getting on my last nerve boy. You would think that your ego _

_would have deflated a little. But no, you are still __all talk even now. What the hell are you going to do? __Give me a headache?" He challenged Dean_

_"I will do more than that you bitch," he growled in response._

_Sam looked uncertainly from the demon to the patch of air it was talking to. The patch of air that was supposed to be empty. And the, by the annoyed look on the _

_demons face, patch of air which was currently p__issing him off. What was going on? he wondered. It was just his luck to get a demon that was fucking nuts. He _

_eyed the demon warily. Was this normal behaviour? he wondered. Did demons just start talking to__themselves? Had hell made him crazy? Would it make him _

_crazy? He wondered as the demon continued to rant to thin air. Would he forget who he was? Would he forget about dad and Dean? He shivered at the prospect._

_"You are almost as annoying as your dad," he growled._

_This sentence seemed to freeze Sam from the inside. For a few seconds he could not feel anything. He was stunned. The demon was talking to Dean! Dean! he _

_realised, Somehow Dean was here! The demon seemed less scary to him now that __he knew Dean was here. He whirled around. His gaze flew around the entire _

_room. He hoped to see Dean, gun in hand and smile on face, pissing off the demon he had summoned. His heart pounded erratically._

_"Dean?Where are you? Are you here?" he asked desperately._

_Dean instantly dropped the comment that had been on his lips. He turned to his brother. _

_"Sammy, Sammy?" he pleaded and desperately hoped Sam gaze would stop on him, "I am here. I am always here"_

_"Deans been here the whole time," whispered the demon, his voice like silk._

_"What?" asked Sam who was confused, "Why...why you... why not me?"_

_Dean answered the question quickly, "You cannot control your ghost whispering kid. This demon is super old. He is bound to have some tricks that you do not have."_

_Deans answer hung in the air, unheard by Sam._

_"Do you really want me to answer that Samuel?" His voice actually seemed to convey compassion. Dean snarled._

_"Your both as brothers never was really that strong. You were never really that close as siblings. The only reason you can see those visions is through your _

_connection to them. If you have no connection to the __person you will not see them. I mean, here he is screaming at you yet you cannot even hear him."_

_The words hit the Winchester brothers doubly hard. Dean snarled in anger. The demon was messing with his little brothers head. He was trying to make him seem _

_like a bad brother. Sure the whole college thing, was __still somewhat of a sore point for him, but Sam was his little brother. He felt very possessive. Sam was HIS _

_little brother. Dean thought he should be the only person allowed to screw with him._

_"Don't you dare believe that bastard. Demons lie Sam," he pleaded desperately knowing Sam did not hear him, "Please Sam. Do not let him into your head. Do _

_not let him mess with it, mess with us. We are solid S__ammy. You know that."_

_Sam bit back the tears as he heard the demon voice his own fears. Throughout the night his mind had constantly wandered back to his "shining" Since he had _

_woken up in the hospitsl alone, he had been constantly __questioning himself. His gift always brough him visions of people close to death. According to the doctors _

_Dean was in that area, so why did he not see Dean? What had it all been for if, in the end, he could not help __his brother when he needed it? And to have a demon _

_be able to see Dean over him brought him little comfort. Evil had more connection with his brother than him. That was not a pleasant thought._

_"What," Sam questioned after a second, "What is he screaming?"_

_The demon pretended to be concerned. He bit his lip, "I do not know if I should tell you. It is not that nice to hear."_

_Sam was oblivious to Deans shouts of do not listen to him! "Tell me."_

_"He's saying that this is your fault-"_

_I AM NOT SAYING THAT!_

_"- that you should have seen the truck. He says that you were always the weak link in the Winchester family. That is not very nice Dean by the way, but he is now saying that you are a crappy brother. He saves your _

_life and you repay him by stealing his-"_

_FUCKUPFUCKUPFUCKUPFUCKUPFUCKUP!_

_The demon tutted. Tears sprang to Sams eyes. He looked to the floor. I am sorry he mouthed._

_Dean was panicing. Things were getting way out of hand. This fucker was breaking his little brother without lifting a finger. This fucker was using all of Sams fears against him. _

_"I am so going to enjoy killing you," Dean growled to the demon. To Sam he pleaded, "Please realise I would never say anything like that. Sammy you need to be strong and realise this. Your life may depend on it"_

_"Anyway," said the demon jovially, "do you still think that saving your brother is a good idea?"_

_"Yes," answered Sam immediately_

_"You see, this is were you and I have to agree to disagree."_

_"What do you mean," asked Sam and Dean at the same time. _

_"Cute," he muttered. Sam frowned. Dean scowled._

_The demon took another step forward. Sam countered with a step backwards._

_"Good boy," approved Dean. He began to feel weak._

_The demon played with its finger nails before answering, "Do you really think that I'd let that bulldog loose again. The first thing he would do would be to come after me. To basiclly help him get started? That would not be very smart would it?_

_"Damn straight," answered Dean._

_"It took us twenty years to find you before. And that was only because you wanted to be found. Dean will not find you, no matter how hard he looks."_

_Dean began to argue against Sams words. The demon nodded, accepting the reasoning. Dean began to feel weaker. _

_"That does not change one simple fact," he stated. His yellow eyes watched Sam hungrily._

_"What?"_

_"That I am just going to take you and leave your brother to die," he glanced at Dean, "and by the looks of him, he does not have much time left."_

_Dean felt the pain in his chest at that second. His chest felt like it was on fire. It was unbearable. He tried to block out the pain, but it was useless. He feel to his _

_knees. His eyes watered. HIs vision blurred. _

_Everything sounded quite far away to him. He grunted and held his stomach. _

_Sam was oblivious. He pulled out a knife from his back pocket. It looked sharp and deadly. Sam tightened his grip on the handle. The knife was steady. The _

_demon laughed at the __sight of it._

_"You think your little knife will stop me?" he laughed._

_Sam smiled a little. "No."_

_"Well then, what is the point of it? Once a Winchester always a Winchester- bravado until the end."He sighed dramatically._

_"It is for me."_

_Sam raised the knife to his throat, "I am guessing suicide would ruin your little plan, eh? I am done playing games. Save my brother."_

_tbc._

_I hope you all like it!!!!! _


	7. Chapter 7

disclaimer- i own nothing.

Thanks for all the reviews.

Sorry in advance if this chapter is a little confusing.

To answer a question John died at the end of in my time of dying. He traded his life for Deans (who was about to die) with the YED. Hope that helps!:)

Chapter 7

_Ron narrowed his eyes. "Brave words, little Winchester," he murmured._

_Sams heart was pounding. He could hear the sound echoing in his ears. It was deafening. He held the knife steady. HIs hand did not even shake a littleHe did not _

_break eye contact. A moment passed as the men __watched one another. Each assessed __their own chances with the other. Finally Ron gave a brief nod. A few _

_strands of his hair fell across his face. Ron brushed it away impatiently._

_"Sammy Winchester, there is so much blood on your hands. Your brothers," he paused for emphasis," for example. Are you really going to add your own. Are you _

_willing to go that far?"_

_"Yes," answered Sam without the slightest hesitation. He tried not to react to the demons taunting. He forced himself to focus. It was hard. The demons words had _

_stung. In one sentence, the demon had summed __up all the dark little thoughts that had been haunting him since the night on the highway. All the horrible thoughts, _

_that had been swirling around his head, about how he was the weak link that jepordised his families _

_safety. How he was responsible for their current situation. And how he had failed as a brother and a son._

_Rons eyes flashed angrily. Sam gave a small sarcastic smile._

_"Did your dad teach you this little boy?," Ron accused angrily. He spoke in a low growl. "you should grow up. Dramatics do not belong in the real world."_

_Sams smile grew by a few teeth. "Grew up? He felt as though he had aged at least ten years in the past hour at least."_

_His shoulders shook as he laughed humuorlessly at the irony of the statement. "Do you think I am joking? I am my fathers son. The guy that's been hunting you _

_and yours for 20 years. He is damn good at it t__oo.I grew up with the guy." Ron raised an eyebrow, inquisitively. He wondered what Sams point was._

_"I do not joke," Sam finished seriously. Sam drew the knife a little way across his neck. The cut was not deep. It had not even hurt. He had experienced far worse. _

_Hell, he had inflicted far worse. But, it drew a little __blood. Sam felt the wetness at the side of his neck. Ron watched the knife with the droplets of blood pooling on _

_the blade. His gaze shifted back to Sams face. Sam noted the difference in the demons demeanour. _

_He seemed a lot less sure of himself. He sight of the blood seemed to knock a little confindence out of the demon. Sams smiled._

_"You did not think I would do that you bastard, did you?" he thought viciously._

_"A little blood changes nothing," snarled Ron taking a step forward. _

_"I saw what happened to another of your little proteges. Max? Remember him? You paid him a little visit like you did me." Ron smiled. Sam rolled his eyes in _

_disguist._

_"You make my skin crawl. Anyway, about Max, I refuse to end up like him. I am not a murderer. I am good. That is what my dad taught me. I will end it before I _

_kill anyone."_

_Ron nodded. He noted the finality in Sams tone. In his mind, there was no doubt that- if given the chance- he would do it. And, in a strangely human way, he could _

_understand. Live alone or die a hero?_

_He wondered if he could get to the boy before the knife sliced his throat open. He knew immediately that his chances were slim. The Winchesters, all three _

_together, had gained a formdible reputation. They had m__ade a lot of enemies. One brother, trained as a hunter when he barely out of nappies, by a man whose _

_wife he had murdered. Would he be able to be quicker than young Sammy? Not likely._

_His gaze flickered to the immobile Dean on the floor. The older man, whose smart mouth had really pissed him off earlier, moaned dully. Could he really afford to _

_bring him back into play? Would he pose much of a __threat to him, Could he forgive the loss of his kids? "Ron" wondered. Sammy here, held so much potential for _

_him. He had literally fantascised about the lengths he could reach with the younger Winchester. With his __help, he reckoned he could bring a new hell of earth. He _

_had figured this goal would entail hunting the famed family and picking them off one by one. However, thanks to one semi, here was Sammy offering himself _

_up on a platter. It was too good an offer to refuse. He looked at Dean, who was looking more like the spirit he was by every passing second, who shook slightly. _

_Ron shook his head in disguist at the sight. It was __pathetic really. The trade really did not compare for him. It was a no-brainer. Give him a pen and he sign on the _

_dotted line._

_"What do you want me to do exactly?" he asked Sam slowly._

_XxXxXxxxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXX_

_The pain came in waves. It got stronger every second. It was worse than Dean had ever experienced. When his dad, who was possessed, had ripped into his chest _

_came in at a close second. Pain burned across his __chest. The breath was knocked out of him with every sensation. Dean struggled to see what was happening with _

_ his little brother. The voices around him sounded far off. His vision was blurred with the tears in his_

_eyes. Dean vaguely saw the knife. He recognised it as one of hbis own. He knew how deadly it was. Don't! he wanted to scream at Sam._

_A new wave of pain blossomed in his chest. With it he felt his world rip in two. In the first, he was kneeling on the floor trying to help his brother. In the second, he _

_was on his back staring at ceiling tiles. He could __also see three faces, all wearing equally anxious expressions. As the pain intensified, the second world became _

_more clearer. The two faces were that of the doctor and a nurse. _

_"Still nothing," spat the doc, looking at the nurse and down at Dean_

_"Nothing what?" he wondered vaguely. A steady beep echoed around the room. Dean took a second to realise that it was the sound of a heart machine that was _

_flatlining. It took him another second to connect __the anxious looks of the docs, the pain in his chest and the heart monitor. IT WAS HIM. He was dying! They were _

_trying to restart his heart. Ignoring the fact that his father had given up on him, he wondered were __his fricking tunnel was. He huffed, "figures. I do not even get _

_normal when I am dead."_

_Sams voice floated over the noise of the heart machine. "I will end it before I kill anyone."_

_HIs voice sounded so confident and steady, it shocked Dean. Time to play big brother, not Casper! he reproached himself. Dean fought towards his weaking grip _

_on the room Sam was in._

_Come on, he urged himself, When you see a light then you can get worried. Dean fought against the pain._

_"No," muttered Dean weakly. Ron smiled at his attempt to fight. Take it like a man, he wanted to taunt, know when you are beaten. However he kept quiet. _

_"Do we have a deal?" Rons head snapped up at Sams demand._

_"By which, do you mean will I save your brother and heal him in return for yours? Then yes."_

_The demons eyes almost glowed in the darkness. _

_"How long will it take?" Sam still held the knife to his throat._

_"ARe you scared?" Sam stayed silent. "Do not worry young hunter. Think of it like this. You gave your brother a second chance at life which he was not supposed _

_to have. I heard the story about the so-called faith __healer you found for your dying brother. Sammy, you took your brother back from the brink. You saved a lot of _

_people that were not meant to be saved. Just think of it like that. Think of the lives you will be saving."_

_"Why are you telling me this?" asked Sam._

_"Dunno," Ron replied carelessly, "Good mood?"_

_Dean could feel his grip on the scene slipping as the pain intensified. Dark spots danced on the edge of his vision._

_Dean could see "Ron" mumble some words he could not hear. His vision baralled as he saw Ron reach out to Sam. Sam hesitated a second before reaching out his _

_own hand. Dean was powerless, paralysed by his __own pain. This was the last he saw of Sam. Dean completely lost his grip on the scene as he gave into the _

_darkness._

_The doctor who had worked on Dean sighed for a second. His gaze lingered a second on the young mans still chest. He shook his head at the nurse, who stood on _

_the opposite side of the bed. She brushed a spare __strand of hair behind her ear. He stepped back, holding the paddles limply in his hands. He watched the heart _

_machine, hoping that thwe still line would hop to life._

_The doctor weighed up his options. The guy had been down for the past 12 minutes and he was completely unresponsive. Despite the fathers apparent turn-around _

_on treatment, the guy was still doomed. He knew_

_it and so did the nurse. He could delude himself and try to resustitate the young man even though his chances were slim. _

_"Call it," said the nurse. her voice was businesslike._

_The doctor sighed. God he was not looking forward to telling the young mans family. From what he had seen they were really close. HIs brother, in particular, had _

_not been far from his side since he was brought in._

_The doctor sighed again, _

_"Time of death 10:41 am."_

TBC

HI SORRY IF THIS WAS A LITTLE CONFUSING. I TRIED TO EXPLAIN IT THE BEST I COULD. I HOPE YOU ALL LIKE IT. BY THE WAY, I HOPE YOU ALL LIKE THE CLIFFHANGER!!


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer - i own nothing, as usual.

Thank you all for the lovely reviews. Thanks to every one who has put this story as a favorite or alert! Hope you all like it!

By the way, the lyrics are from the song "when angels fly away," by "Cold

Chapter 8

_The doctor sighed again, _

_"Time of death 10:41 am."_

_The doctor put the paddles on the trolley to his left. He pushed the cart away angrily. It rolled a short distance before coming to a short stop._

_"I guess," he said to the nurse who eyed him warily,"I guess I'd better tell this guys family."_

_The nurse paused. Her hand was outstretched, inches away from the switch on the respirator. It's screen showed a thin horizontal line. The noise was monotone and _

_depressing. It was like a reminder of how modern __medicine had failed the young man on the bed.It echoed around the room._

_"What's the matter," asked the young nurse. She could sense the doctors hesitance and sorrow at the loss of the patient. He seemed hesitant to leave his spot beside the _

_young mans bed. He watched the __respirators screen as though he hoped the line would jump and move._

_"He was my age," muttered the doctor. "He was my age. He had a family and a life. He had hobbies and relationships, just like me. Now he does not"He shook his head _

_and frowned. The nurse reached out her hand __across the bed. He glanced over, surprised at the gesture. He took her hand in his own. He squeezed appreciatevly. She _

_smiled, _

_"Be thankful the rest of the guys family made it. Two out of three is not bad, especially in his circumstances. Take your victories were you can find them, that is my _

_motto."_

_"Try telling that to him," he nodded toward Dean. The heart machine continued in the background. The nurse scrunched her face in disguist, "Thats awful!"_

_The doctor blinked, unfazed by her reaction, "I know. When something gets to close, make a bad joke or comment and it will all go away. Why is it affecting me like _

_this? I see death all the time, why is he so __different?" He watched Dean for a few seconds. The guy was normal. Why was this affecting him like this?Deans mouth was _

_slightly open from the tube down his throat. His face was pale and ashen. His hair hung __limply around his face. The nurse looked at him speculatively. He looked _

_peaceful and tried to take a little comfort in that. _

_"Life is short.Working around here you should know that." She reached over and turned off the respirator. The noise was cut off immediately. "Death is a part of life. _

_The quicker you accept that, the happier you will __be."_

_Dean Winchester woke up with a cough. Both the doctor and nurse took a protective step back. Deans eyes flew to the doctor and then nurse as he realised were he _

_was. He quickly assesed the situation. Given the __fact that these two were both looking at him as though he had six heads- he guessed that they could see him. This did _

_not bode well for Sam. He was afraid for his little brother. In all of his life Dean could only__remember three times which he was really afraid. The first time had been _

_when his brother was six months old. The second had been when he was lying on the floor of that cabin. And now, made three. Dean did not __like the emotions his fear _

_aroused. Emotions get people killed. He swore that Sammy would not be one of them. He swore to himself,_

_"Sammy will be okay. No matter what. He will be okay." _

_"If he is still alive..." He pushed that thought from his head._

_He thrashed on the bed, trying to get up. He could not though, due to the tube down his throat. _

_"Stupid fucking medicine!No wonder I fucking avoid these places"_

_The doctor and nurse froze, each unsure of what to do. "Fuck," whispered the doctor, shocked. The nurses hand had flown to her mouth. She was terrified. As Dean _

_continued to cough and thrash on the bed, their __inbuilt instincts kicked in. The doctor laid his two hands on Deans flailing arms. His grip was strong._

_"Restraints," he barked at the nurse. She stared at Dean shocked. "RESTRAINTS," he barked again. He was afraid his patient was going to hurt himself again. He was _

_damned sure that he was not going to lose __this guy twice in one day. Dean stopped moving at the second shout. He lay immobile under the grip of the doctor. The _

_doctor understood the gesture immediately- no restraints. He nodded. He sighed as he looked __at the wide eyed nurse. She was frozen in fear. He sighed as he realised _

_that he would not get any more help from her._

_"Okay, no restraints" The doctor flipped out a torch from his coat pocket. He shone his light into Deans eyes. They were desperate and strangely expressive._

_Dean yelled. His words were inaudible due to the tube down his throat. _

_"Calm down Sir. You were in an accident. Your family is fine. You gave us quite a scare, but you need to settle down or you will hurt yourself." The doctor did not _

_remove his hands from Deans chest. Dean stopped__shouting. He looked from the hands holding him back to the doctors face. Deans mouth began to move, despite the _

_tube down his throat. He was watching the doctor. HIs lips continued to move. The doctor got the __impression he was trying to tell him something._

_"You should not try to talk." He leaned his head a little unconsciously. It was all Dean needed. His dad had always taught him to use whatever was available to him to _

_get out of trouble. Right now, his hands were out __of commission and his legs were useless. That left his head. He steeled himself for the pain. He threw his head up. It _

_connected with the doctors with a dull thud. Pain erupted in his temple. The doctor gave a __surprised omph. His grip dissapeared as the doctor fell to the floor. Dean _

_smiled. "Chump" he thought satisfied._

_He scrunched up his face. He repeated "Rons" actions from earlier. He pulled the tube out of his throat. As much as he hated the noise of it earlier, it was nothing _

_compared to the feeling. It was like retching only a __million times worse. He tasted the coppery tang of blood. He spat it out. He barely spared the nurse a glance (she _

_was still comatose anyway). He swung his legs over the side of the bed. He wiggled his toes. His __feet brushed the doctor who lay in a heap on the floor. He gingerly put _

_his feet onto the floor. He took a few unsteady paces before he broke into a run._

**_"_I'll make a soldiers decision to fly away  
**

**Load my gun, paint my face, call me misery  
**

**I can see the sky light up and the ground explode  
**

**Got my sights locked in i can see you breathe  
**

**Then i watched you fall and somebody scream  
**

**Its the saddest thing when angels fly away **

I cant be home tonight, i'll make it back its allright

_Dean vaguely heard the words of the song as he passed. The noise faded into the distance as he sprinted to the room he knew Sammy was in. He marvelled, as he ran, _

_of the normality around him. He could have __sworn that he heard someone talk about a nail appointment they would or would not take.How could anyone be so self _

_absorbed? Lives were on the line! He pushed a guy, whom he assumed was a doctor because __of the white coat, out of his way. He ignored the shout of protest thrown _

_after him  
_

_He wheeled to a stop at the door. He tried to open it, but it was locked. He jiggled the handle._

_"Sam?" he yelled at the top of his voice. He ignored the looks he was getting. "Sammy?I am coming!"_

_He shoved his shoulder into the door but it would not budge. He repeated the action a couple of times. He grunted in frustration. He dropped to his knees. "Sammy?"_

_He looked in the keyhole._

_"Shit." Dean could see black smoke. The room was thick with it. It was so thick that he could not see his little brother. He got to his feet. He backed up a step. He _

_arched his leg and thumped the door as hard as__he could. He ignored the shout of protest he could hear from up the corridor. His entire thoughts were focused on what _

_was going on behind that door. He kicked three more times, each time with as much force as he __could manage. The door, a thin plywood, crumbled under the force. _

_With the next kick, Deans foot went through the door. Out of the corner of his eye, Dean could see people gathering. People, security he assumed, _

_were coming towards him. The crazy guy kicking doors down in the intensive care ward. He forced his hand through __the hole he had made. He turned the key on the _

_other side of the door. When it clicked, he brought his hand back through. Dean shoved the door open. The room was clear of the black smoke. There were two _

_bodies on the floor. One was a man, who was positioned ackwardly. Like he had just collapsed and __had no time to straighten out. The other-_

_"Sammy." Deans voice was strangled. Dean dropped to his feet and slid across the floor. Sam lay with his head resting on his arm. Dean put his fingers on Sams neck, _

_desperately searching for a pulse. He __scooped Sam up by the shoulders. He pulled Sams head and shoulders onto his lap._

_"No, no, no,no, no, no, no." Dean could not find a pulse._

_"Please,please," he begged Sam. _

_"HELP!" he yelled. He thought he saw a figure in the doorway. He did not bother to look up, _

_"HELP. WE NEED HELP!" The figure disappeared._

_Sams eyes were closed. Dean felt his eyes water as he rocked Sam, "You stupid stupid boy." He gently chastited him. "Why did you do this?"_

_Dean could hear footsteps. "Sammysammysammysammysammy," he cried quietly,"You can not die on me. Please.". _

_The room was flooded with doctors and nurses. Dean laid Sammy down on the floor, "You will be okay now," he whispered. He slid back and sat against the wall. The _

_doctors set their equipment down beside Sam._

_They began to examine Sam and shout things to each other that made no sense to Dean. He watched, regardless. He ignored the nurses gentle, "Maybe you should wait _

_outside." He stood his ground, or rather, sat in it. Heaven nor hell could have moved him at that minute. The doctors began CPR on Sam. He watched them as they_

_massaged his chest, trying to force air back into his lungs._

_Dean watched Sam, willing him to open his eyes. A few minutes passed. Sam did not open his eyes. Dean took his gaze off his little brothers face for a second as he _

_realised that the doctors were stopping the CPR. The oxygen mask was lifted from Sams face._

_He was confused. Sam was not okay yet. Why were they stopping? Had he missed some vital information- where they taking Sammy down to surgery or something?_

_"What?" he asked the group of doctors assembled around Sam. One turned and looked at him. He glanced back at another doctor who nodded._

_"Sir, I am afraid that we were unable to get your-" he looked at the same doctor from before. He mouthed brother. "-brother's heart beating again."_

_"No no no," Dean shook his head, "YOu need to keep doing the CPR thing to get his heart started again then he will be fine." Deans tone was confident. He looked f_

_rom doctor to doctor and saw identical expressions __of pity._

_"There is nothing more we can do,"_

_"No."_

_"His heart stopped beating for too long,"_

_"No," Dean was more desperate._

_"I am sorry. There probably was no pain"_

_"No." Deans voice had dropped to a whisper._

_"Your brother is dead."_

_Dean absorbed the words of the doctor. Dean watched Sam. Everything else fell away. Dean Winchester did not speak again._

_tbc_

_this should be done soon. I hope you like this part of the story_


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer- I own nothing!

Thank you all to everyone who reviewed on this story. This is the end! I hope you all like the ending. You never know... If i get enough reviews I might do a sequel lol.

Chapter 9

"Missouri"

"Missouri" The voice was louder. Missouri felt a gentle shake on her arm. John grunted. He sat on the carpeted floor. His bad leg stretched awkwardly out in front on him.

"What-"Missouri was dazed. She blinked. Her vision was dominated by the face of the doctor. Slowly, she began to see the motel room again. It took her another second to get

used to the darkness after the bright white of the hospital. She had almost forgotten that she was in the motel room. Deans eyes were level with her own. They were lifeless and dull.

She felt so miserable at that point. She knew that a lot of Dean had died in that room. He had lost a lot more than his little brother. He had lost his happiness, his vigour and love of

life.

"You were crying." Johns voice was gruff with emotion. Missouri could feel wetness on her cheeks._So she was._ She was not surprised.

"What did you see?" John attempted to scan Missouris face for any indicator of what see had seen. She looked away. John frowned.

"DEan," she breathed. She stroked his face gently. He continued to stare at the patch on the bottom of the wall. Missouri could imagine what he was seeing. She understood how

the man had gotten into this state.He was being haunted by the hardest and most traumatic of his memories. He was fighting a battle that only he could fight- one with himself. He

was a victim of his greatest fear. It was constatntly replaying in hismind.

"Oh, child."

"Tell me what you saw." Johns voice was forceful. His heart was hammering in his chest.

"Do not dictate to me John Winchester." Missouri spat. She did not take her eyes off Dean. John was a little taken aback at the anger laced in Missouris tone. He glanced quickly at

Dean, wondering what was going through his sons head.

"Missouri, please." He reached out an arm and pulled on Missouris. His grip was gentle. His voice was pleading. Missouri weakened at the tone. She could hear the fear in the mans

voice. It made her want to cry again. To have a grown man that had faced off all kinds of supernatural sons-a-bitch's plead like that was heartbreaking to her. However, it still did

not change what she had seen. She leaned over and gently kissed Dean on the forehead. His forehead was cold. She leaned out a hand reaching for Deans. She felt them and

noticed how cold he was. Adding this as another thing to shout at John for, she calmly reached for the duvet on the bed. She pulled it over him.

"Now," she turned to face John, "I can deal with you."

"Deal with me?" His face was blank. Missouri could feel the fear rolling off the man. His thoughts were bouncing from one extreme to the other. John got to his feet with difficulty.

His breaths were laboured. Missouri could tell that he was in pain. John did not complain. "_Stubborn man" _She thought devisivily. She watched from the far wall. She leaned

against the cold wallpaper.

"Why did you do it?" Missouri was baffled. She knew that John had his faults as a father, but what she had witnessed topped it all. She would not have believed it if she had not

seen it herself.

John was silent. "You gave your youngest a loaded gun when you told him to get those things. I mean it was like handing an alcoholic a beer. Of course Sam was going to jump on any chance to save his big brother. I knew that and I only really met them the once. You raised them! Did you know that that was going to happen? Was that your plan?"

John felt his heart catch in his throat. His crutch fell to the floor. His hand flew to his mouth. He struggled to meet Missouris eyes. She was nodding at his reaction.

"Yes John I saw. What in the hell were you thinking?"

John mouth moved wordlessly. Missouri knew he was struggling to find the words to answer he accusation. Normally, the mothering side of her would kick in at this stage. She

could never stand to see anyone cry.

However with what she had just seen, she could not. For the first time in her life she could not understand why. Why had John given his youngest son the ingredients? Had he been

as naive as to think that the child would not look at the ingredients. Would he not put two and two together? Fuck, she cursed mentally, he raised the boy to be as stubborn and

nosey as he was?

"Well?" John did not answer. His eyes were on Dean. His face was ashen. He looked as though he was going to be sick.

"I wanted," John struggled to say after a minute, "I wanted to make everything okay." His voice was low and thick. Missouri could hear the raw pain in his voice. She bit back the

retort of "Well ya did not" that was on her tongue.

"I am sorry to say but it is not your choice to make. No one should have the power over life and death. No matter who would have made the deal it would not have been a good

option. How did you expect your child to live with the knowledge that he was supposed to be dead in your place? Did you think of that on your little crusade?

"Did he.. Did Sammy make the deal?" Missouri did not need to be pyhsic to hear the hesitation in his voice. It seemed like he did not want to know her answer but he had to.

Maybe for his own peace of mind, or for closure-Missouri did not know. She walked over to John. She stood in front of him. He refused to meet her eyes. He did not look in

Missouris direction. His head was bent. He continued to look at Dean

"Yes." Missouris voice was gentle. "He was brave John. He saved his brothers life. You should be proud."

"I killed my child."

Missouri could not answer. She did not know how to. She desperately wanted to comfort the man but she could not find the words. Instead she offered him a hand on his shoulder.

She hoped he would recognise it as what it was- a gesture of support. John looked up suddenly. Missouris hand dropped to her side. His face was twisted in confusion.

"How...how did you." He looked at Dean. "How did Dean see it?"

Missouri shook her head. "He was there JOhn. I am so sorry. Your son was watching the whole time. He was powerless to stop any of it."

John had the sudden, unfamilair urge to envelop his child in a hug. He wanted to keep Dean protect him. _Like you should have been doing for both of them_. He ached to see the

familar lanky young man in front of him. Even if it was to argue. _He could call me anything under the sun and I would not care! _Anything normal would do.

John realised two things at that point. An ephihiny if you will.These ephininies concerned Dean and all he had suffered. Dean had raised his little brother. John had never missed how

Sam had ran to Dean every time he had a problem. John always pretended that he was not a little jealous every time that happened. To watch something like that- he shivered. He

could not imagine how he would survive after that. Dean on the other hand was here and he was alive. Dean was strong, despite what he had earlier questioned. Dean was so

strong. Dean needed to be reminded of that. John pledged to be there and help him. Demon or no demon and heaven or hell- Dean would be safe and get better. He needed

Dean to get well. He needed Dean to be safe. He deluded himself that these urges were not based on his guilt. That this resolution was not made in light of his massive failure as a

father. He felt numb as he thought of what his two sons must have faced. Evil had come for them two days ago. John had failed them both. He should have been there to protect

them. He had dragged them into his fight. For that is what it was- his fight. He had waged this war looking for Marys killer. It had robbed them of so much. It had robbed his

children of a childhood and a mother. It had robbed them of normality. He had been robbed of two years with Sammy. He had been robbed of any real relationship with his kids.

"Do not let the past dictate your future." Missouri advised. She watched him carefully.

"Stay out of my thoughts," he muttered. Missouri smiled wryly.

"Do not let your guilt over Sams death affect your relationship with Dean."

"I killed him. How can I just forget that. Just let that go?" John half shouted.

"Not to be blunt but he made his own decisions. He knew what he was getting into. He was a big boy and he may his own choices."

"How," John raged, "Where do you get off saying something like that?"

"IT is the truth. You were not there-" Missouri stopped, mid shout. She cocked her head to the left, "Where were you? While all this was going on, where were you?"

John looked away quickly. HIs face was guilty. John quickly rearranged his features. Missouri caught the look, " What John? Where were you?"

Missouri watched John intensely. She stared for a few moments before he broke under her scrutiny.

"I was in the chapel okay?" he burst out, "I was in a chapel praying for my sons life. I believe my exact prayer was- anything but this. Anything but Dean. Do you see now? I prayed

for this. I got my wish."

Johns tone was bitter. Missouri was shocked into silence. She did not expect those words to come out of Johns mouth. John and praying did not seem to fit into the same sentence

as one another.

"What am I going to do?" Johns tone was hopeless. His eyes were wet. He looked at Missouri like a drowning man would look at a life raft. Missouri did not have any answers.

tbc- I CHAPTER LEFT!!!

OKAY SO I WANTED TO HAVE THIS FINISHED TONIGHT BUT THEN THE CHAPTER WOULD BE MASSIVE. SO I'LL SAVE THE LAST CHAPTER UNTIL NEXT TIME!!!

HOPE YOU LIKE IT. SORRY IF YOU ALL DO NOT!!!!


	10. Chapter 10

Okay so this is the second part of the end of chapter of the story. I hope you all like this chapter. I cannot begin to thank all who have reviewed, favorited, put the story on alert and even read the story. I hope you all like it.

Sorry for the cheesiness. It was not intentional!

Disclaimer- i own nothing!!

Chapter 10

"Dean," he heard a familar voice whisper. It was a feminine. It was soft and sweet. It was soft as the wind. Dean knew who it was instinctively. He had spent his childhood dreaming

of the voice. With every failed hunt and with all he had suffered, he had gone to bed dreaming of that voice. Sometimes it was the only thing that got him through a day. To know

that she would be waiting for him, gave him the strength that he needed.

The voice that only photographs could put a face to. His mom! Hope blossomed in his chest. He did not question how or why she was here- she would fix it. She would fix it

because that was her job. She was Sams mom.

She was his mom.

Dean tore his eyes away from the calm face of his brother. Sam almost looked like he was asleep. His face was devoid of the fear and worry which had been common in the last

few days. Dean looked through the legs of the doctors. He got quickly to his feet. He crossed the room in three strides.

"Mom?" He called. He looked through the doctors. They ignored him. They continued to crowd in the room. They had moved onto Ron. They were repeating the actions of before

on Ron. They massaged his chest with fierce intensity. Their words were like meaningless background noise to Dean. It was hard for him to feel any sympathy for a guy that had just

"killed" his brother. He knew that the guy was possesed- but it was still

hard. The demon had killed, for now- he promised himself, his little brother wearing that guys face. Occasionally a doctor would look over in his direction and shoot him a look

etched with pity. Dean dispised that look. It made him feel powerless. After a few seconds he began to wonder if he had imagined the call. If he had conjured up a parent who

would actually be there for them when they needed it the most. It was not fair. He let out a strangled noise. It sounded somewhere between an anguished sob and a growl. It was

not fair! I need help! Sam needs help! The longer he stood here the possibilty of reviving Sam dwindled. If modern medicine had given up on Sam, supernatural would have to do.

God knows the universe owed his family. They had lost so much during the course of their lives and did nothing to deserve it. Unless you count afew hustles here and there as one of

the seven major no-no's.

"Mom?" He asked again. He did not expect an answer. "Dean" He felt her breath on his neck. He spun around. His heart was hammering wildly. There she was-his mom. She

looked relaxed. Her hair was loose and flowing. She wore the similar nightdress Dean had seen her in in Lawerence. Dean felt his anger and negative thoughts melt away at the sight

of her. He could not speak for a second. He was happy she was here.

There was a million questions that he wanted to ask her. However, he told himself, there will be time for that later when Sam is better. Dean felt as content, as much as he could be

in the present situation, as a child with his parent. He hoped, like any child, that his mom would make everything better.

"Mom!" Dean did not touch her. He knew from an all to recent experience that he would not be able to. "You have to help Sammy. He is dying. Work some angel mojo on him or

something."

Mary withdrew her gaze from Dean and fixed it on Sam. She did not look at Dean again for a long moment. Mary shook her head. She was sad.

Deans mouth opened in disbelief. "What?WHAT do you mean? He is your son for crying out loud! You have to save him!"

"I can not" Mays voice was loving but firm. Dean was unrelenting. He noted the pain of the woman in front of him. She was obviously suffering. But, to be honest, Dean did not

care. Fuck it if he was going to sit back and accept he and Sam had two useless parents. They had been blessed with a dad all to eager to kill me, noted Dean sarcastically. And

now, I have got a mom all to willing to let my brother die. He grunted.

"So you are going to let your son die. I asked God for help and you appeared. It has to be related, doesn't it? Unless you guys get time off for good behaviour." Deans words

dripped with sarcasm.

"I am still your mother." Dean winced at her tone. Mary narrowed her eyes. "I can't save him Dean. He is already gone."

"No." Deans eyes flashed dangerously "He is not dead. I will not let him be dead."

Mary nodded sadly. She could hear the hopelessness behind the anger in Deans voice. "It is not for you to decide"

"It was not his choice either." Dean spat. "Please," he pleaded in a gentler voice, "You need to help him."

Mary smiled. Her gaze flicked from Sam to Dean. The doctors had stopped working on Ron. Judging by their looks, Mary guessed the outcome was not a positive one. He lay on

the floor next to Sam. His eyes were framed by long lashes. His face was calm.

"Please mom, please. Pleasepleaseplease." Marys heart was breaking. "You can not let him die."

"He is dead Dean. I know that is something you cannot accept but you need to. For yours and your fathers sake." Mary continued. Dean frowned, "I watched you both your whole

lives. I saw how much you loved each other. I am so proud of you for that. You looked after him and kept him safe for me."

"Some job I did." Dean gestured at the body of Sam.

"You did a magnificant job Dean. Sam grew up stronger than anyone could have imagined."

Dean began to cry. His tears were bitter, "If you were really watching. That was not strength. Sammy gave himself to the bastard without a fight. He did not even think. He was

supposed to be smart. How did he think that I could live with this." Dean wiped his eyes roughly, "You need to save him. If you do not I am as good as gone too."

Mary processed her sons angry words. She chose her words carefully. "Do not get muddled up with what happened here. Sammy did not give himself without a fight. He gave

himself so you could live. As hard as that is for you to hear. I am sorry, but I will not lie to you. Think of the love needed to make a sacrifice like that. It may have been a stupid

decision to you, but to Sammy it was the only way. He loved you so much he would rather die than live in a world without you."

Dean looked away. He could hear the sincerity in her words. He struggled to argue against them. He thought of his mothers last speech, "I watched you both." What in the hell? He

struggled to form words. His mind was sent reeling again. "Where were you?" he choked out after a minute. "Where were you tonight? Why did you not stop it? As a matter of fact,

if you were watching our whole lives- why did you not come when we needed you most? How about that night in the Impala? When I was sobbing and alone. My brother had a

new life and my father had abandoned me. What about then? What kind of parent are you if let this all happen?"

Mary raised an eyebrow. "DEan. I am a ghost. My time is up on the earth. I died a long time ago and the world continued to turn without me. I can't take part in anything. I can only

watch"

Dean nodded. He was slightly ashamed of his outburst. "Why are you here though?"

Mary answered without hesitation, "To help my son"

Deans eyes flew to Sam. Deans mouth opened to plead for Sam again. Mary cut him off- "I came to help you Dean."

_What is it with everyone wanting to help me!_

"Sammy died-" Deans eyes flashed. "Two days ago"

"Okay now you lost me" Dean was sarcastic.

"Dean." Mary warned.

"You fell into a comatose state. You were unable to deal with it Dean. There is still hope for Sammy alive in you. You need to accept that he is gone. Sammy died two days ago.

You are not in the hospital. You are in a motel room. Your dad is asleep beside you.

"I do not" Dean was confused. His head was spinning. "I do not feel as though I am in a coma."

"You are son. Why would I lie to you?"

Dean thought for a second. "Christo" Mary did not flinch. Her face grew angry. Dean gave her a half smile.

"I know it is hard to accept but you need to. Real life is still continuining. You need to return."

"But." Deans eyes scanned Marys face, "But I can not be"

Mary cocked her head to the left. "If this were real life one of those doctors would hav came over to you. You have been talking to a wall for the past 15 minutes."

"Thanks for that, by the way"

"Do not mention it." Mary smiled.

_I am not in a coma. If she is telling the truth then Sam is really dead. His brother was gone and had been so for two whole days. Could he really accept it? Accept that _

_his dead mother was coming to him to tell him __it was really to to late to save his brother. Stranger things had happened. Could he accept that he had failed Sammy? He _

_had not kept him safe. He had failed at his job and lost his baby brother because of it?_

The room began to blur. His head was light. He felt dizzy. The bright of the hospital room was slowly replaced by the darkness of the motel room. Dean struggled to get his eyes to

adjust to the difference in light. His mothers face disappeared from his view.

" I love you Dean." His mothers voice echoed in his ears.

tbc


	11. Chapter 11

Hey, so this is the final part of the last chapter. I had to split it into 3 parts as it was so long. I hope you all like the ending of the story.

A/N- somebody reviewed saying that the show would not be the same without sam and dean. I totally agree! This is an AU story though so it will not follown the pattern of the series. However it will have Sam and Dean. I

just have not gotten to that part yet. lol.

Disclaimer- i own nothing

His mothers words lingered in his ears. They sounded strangely hollow to him. _How many times had she spoken the same words to Sam? _He wondered. His muscles felt as

though they were on fire. He was strangely warm. He felt something soft and, glancing down, noted the blanket. He blinked again, adjusting his eyes. He could see his dad. His

normal emotionless expression was contorted in pain. Dean could see tears in his eyes. Dean was too tired to be afraid anymore. He knew his dad. Only three things could make his

father cry and, if he guessed right, two were already dead. John was talking. Dean, still slightly disoriented,

wondered who he was talking too. _Was it some kind of sick way to make himself feel better?_Dean amused himself for a second, picturing JOhn Winchester alone in a room

talking to himself. It took him a second torealise his father was not looking at him when he was speaking. He followed his gaze. His eyes met Missouris eldery form. He recognised

her instantly. He added her arrival to his growing hate of his father. Only hisfather would think it was okay to use a pyhsic on him when he was ill. _That man is obnoxious, he is _

_impatient, he is a bastard-_

"He is you" finished another little voice inside his head. He shook it off angrily. He was too angry to see the truth in the statement. He knew he was a lot like his dad. He had

inherited a lot of his fathers bad traits. He did not want to admit that at the minute. He had a major headache coming on.

"I was in the chapel okay?" John burst out, "I was in a chapel praying for my sons life. I believe my exact prayer was- anything but this. Anything but Dean. Do you see now? I

prayed for this. I got my wish."

Dean was incredulous. He prayed for him to get better? That was a load of crap. He had told the doctor to pull the plug on him. Why was he lying? Was he trying to get some

sympathy for himself? _Oh look at me- __I've got one dead son and the other is in a coma basically. Give me sympathy!_ His dad had never been one to demand sympathy for

others. He was the strong silent type who preferred to deal with things alone.

HOwever, he was a ghost a couple of days ago. _Things change._ Dean surmised.

"What am I going to do?" Johns tone was hopeless. Dean felt anger surge through him again.

"I will tell you what you can do" Deans voice was hoarse with disuse.

Both adults looked down at Dean. He struggled to his feet. The blanket fell off him and onto his floor. John shifted his balance to ease the pressure on his bad leg. Missouri stood her ground, slightly closer to Dean.

She looked Dean straight in the eyes. Eyes, a few minutes ago had been dull and lifeless, were sharp and dangerous. Dean watched John. Missouri could senss the barely veiled

anger. It was like a pressure cooker of emotions waiting to boil over the surface. Heaven help anyone who was in the way when a Winchester was angry.

"Son!" John was overjoyed. Dean was awake. He was safe. He was well. John could protect him. He did not see the anger. He did not feel the tension. Missouri did.

"John." she warned.

"Stay out of this Missouri. This is between me and dad." His voice was sarcastic over the last _dad._

"Do you know what you can do?" Dean moved a step backwards. His gaze flickered briefly to the mirror. He was shocked to see the guy that looked back. This guy was thinner,

paler and rougher around the edges.

"You can tell the truth. You could not have been in the church, _dad, _praying for me. You have already given the doc's permission to turn off my life support. I was dying and you

were helping me get there quicker."

John breathed deeply. It sounded like a rough growl. It was the only sound in the room. Missouri and Dean both watched John. This was a question he could not avoid.

He closed his eyes for a second. "I know you saw that but-"

Deans eyes flickered to Missouri. She felt uncomfortable under his gaze. She nodded to his unanswered question. He gave her a final glance, something that looked like

disappointment, before switching his gaze back to his father. She was forgotten again.

"But what dad? Huh? Talk your way out of that one." Deans tone was aggressive. He talked like that, generally, to things he was about to kill.

"I thought I was doing what was best for you Dean. I knew that you were in pain. I did not want you to suffer anymore. You cannot judge me. I made the bad choice in a bad

situation."

Deans eyes sparkled with amusement._Gotcha_, he thought triumphantly.

"You thought that, by letting me die you were doing what was best for me?" he echoed. John nodded, "Your little idea cost us a lot. I lost a lotta time with Sammy. Time I could

have used figuring out a way to stop him. I...would...have...stopped him. Thanks to you I lost that chance."

John took an unsteady step closer to Dean. He nearly fell without the help of his crutch. Dean made no move to help him. Missouri reached out and handed him the crutch. He took

it gratefully.

"I know that you are upset son but I had no way of knowing that things would play out the way that they did. I am sorry dad is not perfect-"

"Preaching to the choir." John ignored the comment. He continued, "I just acted in what I thought were your best interests."

"Like ya did when you sent your son out for the stuff that he would use, basically, to kill himself."

Johns heart pounded. He needed to choose his words really carefully. If he made a mistake he stood to lose his last remaining son. He used his best controlling voice. It was calm

and authorative.

"I did not give Sam anything like that-"

Dean broke in angrily. His hands were balled into fists. He could feel the fury pounding in his veins. "YES, you did. You sent him out to Bobbys. It was the only time he was out of

my sight."

"Sammys a smart boy. He could have made a stop."

Dean raised a hand. He gestured at John with every word. "I thought that at first, but then it sort of came to me. Why were you so impatient to get the stuuf from Bobbys. You

practically took his head off when Sam told you that he did not get it."

John nodded. He accepted the fact that both his sons had been in the hospital room at the same time. It was a surreal feeling. His mouth opened. Excuses were on his lips.

Dean glared at him, "I saw what you were like before he came. You were practically bouncing off the walls."

John did not know what to say. He could see Dean watching him, waiting for an answer. Dean knew that he was right. And with every second of silence, John knew he was looking

more guilty.

"My son was in a coma. My other son had barely survived a car crash. I was possesed by a demon then shot in the leg. I was not really in the best mood."

Dean sat on the bed. It creaked slightly as it took his weight. John watched him for his reaction. His heart was pounding. He tried to not let it show. Dean looked to the floor. He

noted the floral pattern on the carpet with some distaste.

"You are lying. I know you are lying,"John opened his mouth to protest, "YOU KNOW YOU ARE LYING."

Dean shook his head. He chuckled mirthlessly. "What kind of man does that to his own kid? You lay something like that on Sammy, what gives you the right? If you had done

something like that, Sammy would have known it was because of him. He would have had to have lived with that just like I would have had to have live with the fact you were dead

because of me. The fact that you were in hell and I was up walking around. What kind of selfish bastard are you to believe that I would be okay, with you gone?

Deans voice broke. His shoulders shook. Missouri could feel the subtle shift in Deans mood from anger to sadness. John took a few steps forward. He laid a hand on Deans back.

Dean sprang away at the touch.

"Don't"

"Dean please." John pleaded, "I know you are hurting. Sammy means a lot to you. He means a lot to me too. Him dying like that is a lot for us to handle. We need to stick together

son if we are going to get through this. We are all thats left of our family."

"Sammy's my family." Dean did not look at anyone. He continued to look at the carpet.

"Sammy's dead son." JOhns voice was gentle. He could hear the stubborness in Deans voice.

"Not for long." Dean looked up. He glanced at the curtains and then at John. " Tomorrow morning,I am going to fix your mistake. If I have to pull this entire world apart, I swear I

will do it."

_3 WEEKS LATER_

_It was raining. Dean was soaked to the skin. His t-shirt and hair was stuck to his skin. He was shivering. He was freezing. He made no move to get out of the rain. He _

_stood on the outskirts of a wood. He made no __move to seek shelter in the trees. He did not want to lose sight of the road. The road was quiet. He could hear the far off _

_rumble of cars on the freeway. It was mid afternoon. Dean guessed he had been waiting there __for at least two hours._

_"Come on," he muttered. He took out the sodden page from his jeans pocket. It was a page of handwritten directions. He re-checked that he was in the right position. _

_"Where are you?"_

_There was a rustle behind him. It was faint. Dean whipped around. His face broke into a delighted grin. He clapped his hands together. Another man stood in front of _

_him. He had obviously been in the trees. His __clothes were dry. He was taller than him. An identical grin shone on this mans face. They pulled each other into a hug._

_"Good to see you little brother." Sam smiled at his brothers muffled words, "Who knew a shapeshifter could do so much damage?"_

_"Hate those things." Sam smiled again. With one hand, he withdrew a knife that had been hidden up his sleeve. It glinted in the rain._

_"You are a sight for sore eyes. I was looking for you little brother." Sam prepared to stab Dean. He raised the knife over his brothers back._

_"I know." Sam plunged the knife into Deans back. Dean gasped in surprise. He reached out of the hug. He could not speak. The wound was fatal. Dean could feel each _

_breath getting harder. He fell to the ground. Sam __knelt beside him. "Sammy?" Dean rasped. Sams eyes turned yellow. He grinned. He twirled the bloody knife between _

_his fingers. "I only promised to save you. I did not promise that I would not kill you again _

_afterwards. You were surprisingly naive though, i am surprised." Dean was powerless. Each breath was raspy. HIs vision was blackening. Sam raised the knife. Dean _

_punched weakly._

_"Bastard." he taunted weakly. Sam smiled, "But you are still dead." He plunged the knife down. Dean was dead instantly._

Three hundred miles away, across the country a woman named Ava Wilson woke up with start. She was covered in sweat. She clasped her hand to her forehead. Her head was

killing her. She flopped back onto the pillows, wide awake.

"Are you okay?" Her fiance was awake. He looked concerned. It was three in the morning. Therefore it was too early to go into her "Freaky dreams".

"It's nothing. It was just a dream."

She fluffed the pillows. She tried to get comfortable. "Just a dream."

the end..

by the way- the dream at the end is a vision.

hope you all like it. Can dean be saved? dun dun dun


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